PUMPED!
I have never been so excited about an upcoming presidential election in my entire life. Perhaps it comes with the territory of growing up. Or maybe it’s just because this country has been stuck with a douchebag as President for the past eight years. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.
I’m also very excited about the high chances of having a mulatto man or a dyke-a-licious (thanks, Leonard!) woman as the next President.
With that being said, I’d like to share my thoughts on all of the nominees for the 2008 Presidential Election, and I’ll stick to well-known names of the two main parties, Democrat and Republican, so this doesn’t get too lengthy.
DEMOCRATS
Hillary Clinton: Do ya thang, girl. But I will confess (and I think I speak for the majority of America) that you are absolutely terrifying.
Barack Obama: What a dreamboat! You are definitely going to give Hillary a run for her money with regards to getting women’s votes in the primaries. Plus you were on Oprah, and errbody knows that everyone does anything Oprah supports. Gotta love television!
John Edwards: I don’t know what it is, but everytime I see you I feel like you’re just one big joke and anyone in their right mind shouldn’t respect you. That’s just me, though.
John Kerry: Again? Really? Your face makes me sad.
Al Gore: Okay, so you made a grand attempt to bring global warming to everyone’s attention, and I respect that, but you’re in the same position as Kerry. Just let it go and keep up with your travelling slideshow.
REPUBLICANS
Rudy Giuliani: I already stated my qualms with you in my personal blog so I’m just going to say flat-out that I don’t like you. Jerk.
John McCain: Man, your face makes me sad, too. Except your face actually causes me physical pain, whereas Kerry’s just makes me want to adopt a hound dog and then strangle it.
Newt Gingrich: Newt, buddy, what are you doing? You look like you should be preaching at a super church, then sneaking off to buy crystal meth from trannies.
I thought I had read somewhere that Dick Cheney was going to have a swing at it, but I guess I was wrong. BUT, if he was I would probably vote for him out of fear. Fear of being shot in the face if I didn’t.
P.S. Sorry for all of the below the belt, unfounded attacks on the Republican nominees, I started getting more and more angry as I went down the list. I can’t hide my emotions.
This country suffers from a lack of leadership. We are the laughing stock of the world. We have to resort to choosing the least corrupt and self-absorbed candidates for our elections. I’m scared about what this election may bring.
Comment by Eric Brown — January 28, 2007 @ 12:12 am