Observations In Life

So apparently, Lysol Disinfectant is the new Chanel No. 5, ‘cuz people have been sportin’ that scent like crazy recently.  At first, I thought it was me…that maybe i’d been using a new Lysol inspired bodywash/body spray combination by Bath and Body Works and had simply forgotten, but that wasn’t it. And then I thought that maybe I was just smelling things, or maybe people were spraying the Lysol up my nose while I slept, but I’m thinking that would’ve triggered some unhealthy reactions like sneezing, hurling, or…uhhh, what’s that other one? Oh yeah, death.

But I’ve been smelling it everywhere and it’s on people’s skin and clothes. People on the subway are sportin’ it, in the grocery store…at restaurants.

I worked with one lady who made it a point to reek of Lysol everyday.  EVERYDAY…and it wasn’t like it was her job to use this stuff. She wasn’t a custodian. She just apparently, loved to smell like Lysol.  It was like she lived each day to immerse herself in its antibacterial essence.  I could smell her 99.9% staphylococcus killing fragrance about 5 minutes before she even walked through the door…and I know I wasn’t the only one smelling it. Several people would mention it to me and we’d look at her like, “Are you aware that you smell like a sanitized toilet seat? Is that what you were going for?”

But the kicker, the moment that I knew that this Lysol fragrance trend was getting out of control, was when I ran across someone who must’ve been ingesting it, ‘cuz the scent of Lysol Disinfectant cleaner, was on her breath. I’m looking at her like, “Kay I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be taking that orally. I’m prrretty that that’s on a warning label somewhere.” Yet, here she stood, smellin’ like she used Lysol like Binaca. I had half a mind to press on her head like a nozzle and aim her in the direction of various non-porous surfaces.

…could see the TV ad for that one now…new Lysol Breath Spray…killing bad breath and samonella bacteria all in one spritz…